Our exchange student has been with us for about two weeks now, and so I paused today to ask him what his favorite activity has been so far during his stay in America. His school program has been full, taking him to amusement parks, popular cities like Santa Monica, and beautiful local beaches. I, too, felt like I should be sure to schedule special activities or dinners to expose him to American culture and to maximize his time here. But what shocked and humbled me was Gonzalo's response when I asked, "What has been your favorite activity so far?" Gonzalo answered, "Spending time with my family." Too often in life we, including me, get caught up in big things and we lose sight of the fact that it's the small things, like making pancakes and waffles together for breakfast, that create the unforgettable moments in our lives. Thank you, Gonzalo, for reminding me of this.
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Having been a teacher for over 20 years, I have worked with many students over the years. I enjoy hearing from my former students after they have graduated and moved on to experience their life's journeys. Recently, I reconnected with one of my students after about 10 years. I invested in this young man when he was a rebellious high school student, and stayed in touch with him for a bit after high school, but life happened, and I always wondered what became of him. We were able to catch up on the phone the other week. He is a father now, married, with two children. He moved out of California for a slower pace of life and it brought me great joy to hear about how he had built a happy life for himself and his family. He shared with me that he had a memory box, and in it was a buisness card of mine that I gave him over 10 years ago. This really touched my heart. I would have never known that he kept that little card, or that it symbolized something special to him. He called me his "mentor" and said that he hoped this his kids had just one teacher that was like me. This has made me stop to think of many things...like how teachers, in general, are in the memory boxes of so many of their students and may never know it....and it has made me stop to think about what is in my memory box. Maybe this will also make you stop to think what is in yours.
We have an exchange student from Spain who is staying with us for a month. The other day I took him to our local Target to see if he needed to buy anything and also to show him what Target offered. The store is close to our house and we visit there often. But that day, I saw Target with new eyes. Walking down each of the aisles, I explained to Gonzalo what the products were. I walked down one aisle and said, "All this is gum." Then I walked down the next aisle and said, "All this is soup." Gonzalo keeps saying, "In America, everything is very big." I've traveled outside of the U.S., but I think I have forgotten how truly blessed I am to live in America, a land full of prosperity, freedom...and aisles filled with endless flavors of gum and soup. I am thankful to see my life through Gonzalo's eyes, for it has made me stop to think how very fortunate I am. I met up with some close friends from junior high school this past May. It had been 20+ years since we had really sat down to catch up on life. We each took a turn during lunch to summarize our life's journey in about 5 minutes, and then each person extrapolated upon different points in their journey. When I was asked what had been happening in my life for the past 20 years, I felt a bit uncertain about what to share, but somehow words automatically fell out of my mouth. I started with hardships with my parents, never overcoming the loss of my precious grandmother who raised me, attending graduate school for many years, and having my family. My best friend who sat beside me at the lunch table had witnessed most of these events, and she said I had more to share and referred to some recent difficulties I had experienced. It was at this moment when I realized that those incidents to which she was referring had been left out of my self-identification. Then, what scared me, but what I also found to be most fascinating, was realizing how I had identified myself after 20 years, without having given much time to think about it. It seemed like a simple reflex to share the pain of my relationship with my parents, the loss of my grandmother, my endless love for learning, and my love for my family as mile markers in my life's journey, while surprisingly leaving other events out that I thought were significant at the time. It made me wonder how my friends and family might respond to the same question. It made me STOP TO THINK: How would you identify yourself after 20 years if given only 5 minutes? |
Dr. Stella ErbesDr. Stella Erbes is a teacher at heart. Her passion to teach and help others has led her to compose this site full of resources. Dr. Erbes is a university professor and teaches education courses which help prepare future teachers. She hopes that the lessons prepared here will lead her readers to exceptional food, unforgettable travel, and better living. Stop to Think
June 2018
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